I would write fatigue but I'm too tired!

Yesterday was HARD. For no other reason then I was exhausted. I cannot explain to you what fatigue feels like. So many people think that tiredness and fatigue are the same thing. Fatigue and tiredness are not in the same league. Hell, they're not even in the same universe!

I got up yesterday, took Amelia-Rose to school (because I remain determined that this will effect her in her least) and I so wanted to 'do'. I wasn't fussed what it was that I did 'do' but I needed to 'do' something. Every now and again (and fortunately it isn't very often) I get a flash thought. Maybe a prayer from my subconscious? 'Why give life if it can't live?'.

I wouldn't allow myself to go back to bed so I settled on the sofa. In my mind it was a victory! I rarely let myself submit to bed rest. What it does for my body isn't worth what it does to my mind!!

The good thing is that the 'what can I do with myself when I feel so physically awful for no reason' gape that was 9am-3pm meant that the moment Amelia-Rose got out of school I 100% made the most of her gloriousness! We had a fabulous night last night. The great thing is that if we sit on the bed listening to the Imagination Movers and drawing pictures she is happy for hours never questioning why we our sat on my bed! I also sat watching her on her swing earlier in the evening as I prepared dinner which was lovely.  

I know people are always desperate for rest and 'stopping' and I am quite often told how 'lucky' I am if I do actually have to spend the day on the bed (which like I said is very rarely as I won't allow it) but to be honest all that type of remark does is make me want to ask them if they talk so insensitively to everyone they know or if they just save that for me! Ha! I want to shake them and say "YOU ARE BLESSED." With business and activity! Soak it up! Enjoy it! Treasure it! Maybe you need to learn to pace but how blessed you are that you need to! The sun is shining you :-) 

Anyway let us leave yesterday! 

Today has been blooming awesome.  AN AWESOME PARENTING WIN! 

I am very much a get your hands dirty sort of parent. Glue, glitter, shaving foam, paint whatever. Get right in there, make the mud pies and build the sand castles. It isn't just about getting messy though, it's about getting stuck in no matter what the play. I have always been a hands on in play parent. We have flown to far away lands together and spent hours playing barbies. I guess I see myself as an active participant in Amelia-Rose's childhood in that way. I love it because whilst we play I know I am getting to teach her without her even realising she is being taught! 

Yesterday we spoke about building a space rocket today. I knew we had boxes in the shed and thought we could manage to make something out of them but then a wonderful thing happened! The drawer set Tony ordered (we are really trying to sort out the chaos in the house. We have never ever been messy but the cupboards etc are the most unorganised they have ever been! We have craft stuff living on the kitchen table since our fridge died and it's driving us both bonkers!) online arrived in a huge tall box! Perfect for a spaceship! I mean really, this type of box is destined to be a space rocket... what other purpose in life could it hold?!

We set to decorating the ship, I suggested paint but Amelia-Rose didn't want to wait for it to dry (fair enough! There were adventures to be had!) so we used pens. Once the ship was ready naturally she needed a space suit so I cracked out the tin foil and we had a ball wrapping her up designing her suit. Amelia-Rose is so drawn to my Bible and constantly asks if she can involve it in her games! Oddly! Today it was her alien translation book! Of course, I was the alien! 

This evening I went to see Devon Sproule with my sister and a close friend. It was so nice to be out! Honestly, the gig was amazing, she has the most incredible voice. It is one of those voices that just gets right deep into your soul. I got to have a chat with her after too which was nice. She seems genuinely lovely. I got frustrated because, as you do with music, my body wanted to move! First of all I went for the head nod but ended up with neck ache so I had to stop, then I tried to tap my foot but of course that was awful for my hip so I attempted a sort of rock but my back started aching! In the end I sat there and closed my eyes to absorb it instead. I became so aware of everyone else's feet. Almost everyone was tapping, it is so weird the things you focus in on! 

To top off an incredibly fabulous gig my friend put my hand on her tummy and I felt her baby kick! I promptly burst into tears but they were happy tears. It was a swell of emotion, for this little tiny life that is yet to come and meet the world. It was such an amazing moment! Like magic!! :-D