A bendy bank holiday Monday.

I had an awful night last night, first of all I couldn't get to sleep because my body was screaming with pain. Then my darling husband snored and snored and snored and snored.

Bless his heart when Tony snores I want to gleefully sit beside him being the dutiful wife...

But of course there is always a reality.... 

It took me along time to 'warm up' this morning, I found it difficult to shake of the groggy head and aching bones. Amelia-Rose sat on the bed with me and we played a game of spot the difference. She got two objects that were similar and we had to take it in turns to spot a difference, listing as many differences as we could before she found some more objects. It was fun and gentle! We then popped downstairs and decorated some pebbles we got at the beach with nail polish to put in the garden and I made a wind chime out of driftwood. Whilst I made the wind chime we left the backdoor open so I could watch Amelia-Rose on her swing as she showed me all her 'new tricks'! I cannot begin to find the words to describe how much I adore my little girl! My blessing. My world. My life. 

I then went in the bath to soak my aching muscles whilst Tony and Amelia-Rose played hide and seek with our newly painted pebbles in the garden. 

Once I was out of the bath Tony and Amelia-Rose went to the beach and I began cooking an all mighty roast for them to feast on when they got home! 

For me cooking is love. It is so important to me and has always been an enormous part of my life. We have photo's of me helping my mum to bake as a toddler and it's always been something I love. As a child I would plan elaborate menus and send out invitations to my aunt, uncle and grandparents to come for dinner. I would cook these meals (always three course!) and even at such a young age gain a huge amount of satisfaction from seeing people I loved enjoying my food. Of course I never would have learned the skills without my mother passing them down to me. I am truly blessed to have a mother who passed down the baking gene! 

Before I got sick I would, every night prepare wonderful meals for Tony and Amelia-Rose was weaned on all home cooked meals. During the summer months she would even eat produce I had grown in the garden. At one time she had a real taste for courgettes picked freshly from the green house! When we lived with my parents when we all relocated to Dorset she would toddle out into the garden with me in the morning with a bowl to pick fresh raspberries to have on her porridge! 

When she was still a babe in arms I would put Amelia-Rose in her sling and bake with her, by 2 and a half she could pretty much make her signature jam tarts by herself, I became the sous chef!

My inability to cook every night now is still something that cuts very deeply, however when I do cook I am over taken with love for my family. 

Tony and I have very different ideas about food. I am all about healthy living and Tony, well, bless him, isn't. Obviously I can't eat at the moment but before the 'can't digest solid food' thing happened I was living a vegan life. Amelia-Rose has chosen to be a vegetarian and Tony is meat all the way.

Preparing food is in my mind a part of how I nurture my family, therefore I do cook Tony meat. I will only source it ethically (as ethically as you can... trust me!) and although it is silly, before even beginning preparation I always thank for animal for it's life and for helping me to sustain my family. 

Today I made roast lemon chicken with crispy roast potatoes, yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots and broccoli and swede. (Tony eats hardly any veg and will literally only eat peas and carrots.) 

The thing I have discovered through my illness is that there is a time and place for frozen food. I recently purchased a bag of frozen peas and carrots. Normally I would buy the carrots from the local grocers but because I am not well enough to leave the house for shopping at the minute I have taken to online food shopping. (I still won't buy any meat in a supermarket) When I saw the bag of frozen peas with sliced carrot I bit the bullet and got them and the quality really surprised me! They were good! I also bought some frozen stuffing which took a whole minute and a half in the microwave! 

I have always adored my role as a housewife, that doesn't mean that I don't believe in women's rights (when I was 10 and had to chose a hero and then debate why they shouldn't be thrown from a hot air balloon I chose Emmeline Pankhurt... no joke!) but I liked caring for our daughter, keeping the house in order and having meals every night that would make 'Good housekeeping' proud. I like having a strong man to look after me and make me feel safe, one who encourages me and adores me and I know would move heaven and earth to make me happy. I don't need to question decisions he makes because I know he always puts us (Amelia-Rose and I) first and would never jeopardise our happiness or security.   When my ability to fulfil that role as I use to was stolen from me it devastated me but now I am learning where the corners can be cut but produce the same results. This probably sounds pathetic but when I sit and get through all the ironing without having to stop because my hand hurts I feel victorious. 

So, frozen short cuts are my friend at the moment. Today it meant I was able to serve a huge roast dinner with some of the 'hard on my hand work' reduced which is something to be celebrated! 

We are off to London tomorrow on the 7.07am train! We've just set the alarms for 4.45am so I am off! I guess today's post was something of nothing really. Just a 'normal' day in an extraordinary house! 

Blessings x