I have been thinking today about what to write in my blog. A few things have crossed my mind; How much I miss food and what it's like to live without it; My website that I am building how I am trying to centralise the various creative things going on in my life; The frustration that I feel because, as of yet, my body still shows no sign of improvement, but then a wonderful thing happened. I decided today was the day I was going to start teaching my daughter mindfulness.
Amelia-Rose coped amazingly well the first week I was in hospital, she blew us all away actually. The second week she started to struggle although she still did a great job. Since I've been home though I think it has all caught up with her. In the same way it has caught up with my parents, my sister and my husband. It's funny how they all show it in such different ways. In ways that reflect our various relationships.
My husband is treating me like a dandelion, if there is the slightest breeze I think he's afraid I will blow away in the wind. I have always felt like he is my protector but now more then ever. I really do love that man.
Amelia-Rose though, when I first came home as you would expect she was all over me. It was cuddles and kisses all the way. But as the days have gone on and she is realising I am not better then when I was in hospital (bar my pain being under control but she was protected from all of that anyway) I've seen a confusion in her and heard a few questions for Daddy 'Why doesn't mummy cook my dinner anymore?' etc I have decided from tomorrow although I will be wise with rest I am getting up, getting dressed and doing my make up. No doubt I will then be told how great I look although I feel like cr*p but maybe it is time to put the mask back on.
Anyway back to the point in hand. Today Amelia-Rose went out with a friend and wasn't herself, she refused to play with her friend and wouldn't take instruction from my friend. That isn't normal behaviour at all for Amelia-Rose, especially not to take instruction from an adult.
I chose tonight to be the night I would introduce her to mindfulness. I ordered a book whilst I was in hospital called 'Sitting still like a frog'. It's a book and CD designed to introduce children to mindfulness, we sat on my bed together and I explained that we were going to listen to a cd and do what it told us, I told her it would make us feel nice and calm and what we were going to do was called being mindful.
The first track came on and we both closed our eyes (it was a choice, she didn't have to close her eyes but I guess she took my lead) as the track continued I reached out for her hand and she responded by placing her hand in my hand. We fell deeper into relaxation and as the track told us to put our hand on our tummy I peaked out the corner of my eye to see she was indeed putting her other hand on her tummy.
The track finished and we came back into the now, Amelia-Rose asked if we could do another and so we did. That finished and she looked at the track names on the laptop 'Mummy, can we do sleep tight?' and when we'd done it once she asked for it again! This time she snuggled down, asked me to put my hand on her back and she fell asleep!
To hold her hand as she experienced this wonderful feeling for the first time was delightful. I was on a real high. I feel like we have found yet another way to grow together as she herself grows away from needing me in a practical way so much. I see it as part of my role as her mother to learn myself how to step back as she steps forwards but to not be so far back that I'm not there when she needs me. My role shifts and changes and she herself shifts and changes. Sometimes we will move forward for months and sometime we take a few steps back.
Amelia-Rose reverted to co-sleeping months ago then when she got a Hello Kitty blow up bed for Christmas she started sleeping on that on our bedroom floor then suddenly Tuesday she announced she wanted to move back into her own bed in her own bedroom.
I'd always said to Tony when she was ready to move back into her own space she would but it still sort of took me by surprise (in a good way) Tonight Tony lifted her back into her own bed. At 12.30 there came a small voice 'Daddy' Tony went in and they had a small chat before she went back to sleep, she woke again at 2.45am and was completely calm as she was the first time she woke up. I wasn't asleep anyway so I shared a story with her and she asked for the 'Sleep tight' meditation and fell back to sleep!
I need to explain how HUGE this is for us. This is the first time EVER Amelia-Rose has woken up calm in the night. We have always had to deal with night terrors and nightmares (two very different things) or just a crying frustrated many times inconsolable baby/child. This calmness that surrounded Amelia-Rose when she woke in the night was wonderful. I really hope this enthusiasm for meditation continues. I think it gave her a great deal of calm in what has been a very un calm 3 weeks. I feel like I have found a way to help her feel centred when everything is all over the place.
Showing posts with label Calm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Calm. Show all posts
Saturday, 12 April 2014
Sunday, 9 March 2014
Singing sunshine and sundays
What wonderful weather we have been blessed with this weekend. It truly feels like spring has sprung!
I love spring, it's such a joyful season. Is there another time of the year when we are surrounded by new life bursting into bloom all around us? I think not. Of course summer is wonderful, long hours spent in the garden with a hot sun beating down on your skin but spring is something else. It always reminds me to be grateful to live in such a beautiful part of the world (something I am very aware I take advantage of).
We live just 2 miles from the sea and went to 'see the sea' Saturday and Sunday this weekend. Amelia-Rose had her first paddle in the water which she was thrilled about. Of course she got absolutely soaked but three things that never bother me as a parent are water, mud and paint.
Water dries, paint washes off as does mud. Obviously I wouldn't be thrilled if Amelia-Rose walked mud or paint all over the carpet and through the house but if it's on her it's fine by me! I love that I have a daughter who loves getting messy and isn't precious about staying neat and tidy. The way I see it she has the rest of her life to be neat and tidy (if she so desires!) these are the messy years.
I have some wonderful photos of her absolutely plastered in paint when she was three. I left her alone whilst I went to the loo and she decided she was going to 'do her make up' with the paints. The outcome was hilarious!
So lent is upon us once more and as always rather then giving something up I have taken something on. For me personally the battle is allowing myself time to do things that make me feel good.
Like almost every mother on the face of the planet I always put my free time into playing with Amelia-Rose but when she's at school I tend to fill the day with non essential 'stuff' or if I'm having a bad flare up I take the time to physically rest.
This lent I have set myself three goals. Two are reading on is practical.
My eye sight makes it very hard to concentrate on reading which is tough because I adore reading. We aren't 100% sure what is going on with my vision but everything is always slightly out of focus and it gets a lot worse when I am tired (to the point that I literally can't see straight, I couldn't read a word on the page even if I tried really hard to focus on it.)
I am waiting to see a specialist as the optician said it wasn't actually my vision as such so it can't be corrected with glasses, in his opinion it is a muscular problem which of course would link in directly with the hypermobility syndrome.
Anyway to get any reading done I have to do it during the day so I am going to make sure I make time to do it.
I have chosen two books that I both think have something to offer me at the moment. 'Raising your spirited child' which discusses children that are 'more'. More sensitive to taste, touch, sound and emotions, mature for their age, very creative and intelligent. They can all be great personality traits but they do have a downside for the child that just feels 'more'. The author refers to them as a spirited child. For example, if Amelia-Rose is done wrong by another child and the other child won't say sorry she gets more upset about the injustice of not getting an apology then whatever was done to her. It's 'more' !
The other book is the prayer studying guide to the book 'The power of the praying parent'. Amelia-Rose is suffering with a bit of separation anxiety when she's dropped off to school at the minute and I'm doing everything I can to reassure her in a practical sense but it dawned on me that I haven't actually prayed about it. I thought if I did the work book it would discipline me enough to really think about the areas where Amelia-Rose might need prayer in her life at the moment.
The third and final up take is to try to do a bit of sewing everyday on my machine, or at least a couple of days a week for the simple fact that it makes me really happy! I bought some fabulous fabrics last year and I still haven't used it. I make Amelia-Rose skirts and with summer coming I would like to make some new ones. She has grown so much since last summer anything I made last year is going to look like a mini skirt!
I made myself an awesome camper van skirt last year and would like to make myself a few new skirts too. With the HMS induced trouble I am having with my digestion I have lost over stone since this time last year so will need a new summer wardrobe myself. I can't remember if I wrote about what's going on with my tummy at the minute? Around June last year certain foods started making me be sick but before Christmas I started being sick after most meals. There isn't an obvious pattern to it, I thought at first maybe I had developed a food intolerance but it didn't matter what I took out of my diet it didn't stop.
I did some research and it turns out that this kind of thing can happen to HMS sufferers. The consultant explained it to me that when you swallow (which is now very uncomfortable at best and very painful at worst) there comes a point when your muscles aren't strong enough anymore to keep pulling the food down so it comes back up. On very bad days just drinking water can feel like I have swallowed a whole apple and sometimes it feels like it has got stuck, that I hate. It's quite frightening. I have figured out 'safe foods' such as a bagel dipped in oat milk or tea and soy yoghurt. Cracker bread goes down and stays down too but things like potatoes, pasta and rice are really sporadic, sometimes they do sometimes they don't.
It's the reason I am juicing at home. It's the best way to get maximum nutrition into my body! Plus they taste amazing! My husband makes the best juices! We use the same ingredients but his always taste that bit better!
We are off to London again this week at the end of the week. We're going to take Amelia-Rose with us this time. I think it will do her a lot of good to see what actually happens on a day that we go to London. I wonder if in her head she is making it much bigger then it actually is which is maybe the reason she is getting upset going into school at the moment. I think we need to normalise it for her. Of course it will also help her to see the hospital before I go in for my operation in May.
Steve and I did an open air set at a event to celebrate International World Woman's day yesterday. It was absolutely brilliant! The sun was shining, the crowd were great and two of the musicians that played on the album and performed for us at the album launch spontaneously joined us! I will be posting some videos on YouTube this week sometime hopefully. If you want to hear some tracks off the album now though go check out https://soundcloud.com/songbird-unexpected. Singing and performing makes me soul shine. It made me feel so good yesterday!
Right, that's it! I am off to bed. It's been a wonderful weekend and a good night sleep tonight would just be the cherry on top!
I love spring, it's such a joyful season. Is there another time of the year when we are surrounded by new life bursting into bloom all around us? I think not. Of course summer is wonderful, long hours spent in the garden with a hot sun beating down on your skin but spring is something else. It always reminds me to be grateful to live in such a beautiful part of the world (something I am very aware I take advantage of).
We live just 2 miles from the sea and went to 'see the sea' Saturday and Sunday this weekend. Amelia-Rose had her first paddle in the water which she was thrilled about. Of course she got absolutely soaked but three things that never bother me as a parent are water, mud and paint.
Water dries, paint washes off as does mud. Obviously I wouldn't be thrilled if Amelia-Rose walked mud or paint all over the carpet and through the house but if it's on her it's fine by me! I love that I have a daughter who loves getting messy and isn't precious about staying neat and tidy. The way I see it she has the rest of her life to be neat and tidy (if she so desires!) these are the messy years.
I have some wonderful photos of her absolutely plastered in paint when she was three. I left her alone whilst I went to the loo and she decided she was going to 'do her make up' with the paints. The outcome was hilarious!
So lent is upon us once more and as always rather then giving something up I have taken something on. For me personally the battle is allowing myself time to do things that make me feel good.
Like almost every mother on the face of the planet I always put my free time into playing with Amelia-Rose but when she's at school I tend to fill the day with non essential 'stuff' or if I'm having a bad flare up I take the time to physically rest.
This lent I have set myself three goals. Two are reading on is practical.
My eye sight makes it very hard to concentrate on reading which is tough because I adore reading. We aren't 100% sure what is going on with my vision but everything is always slightly out of focus and it gets a lot worse when I am tired (to the point that I literally can't see straight, I couldn't read a word on the page even if I tried really hard to focus on it.)
I am waiting to see a specialist as the optician said it wasn't actually my vision as such so it can't be corrected with glasses, in his opinion it is a muscular problem which of course would link in directly with the hypermobility syndrome.
Anyway to get any reading done I have to do it during the day so I am going to make sure I make time to do it.
I have chosen two books that I both think have something to offer me at the moment. 'Raising your spirited child' which discusses children that are 'more'. More sensitive to taste, touch, sound and emotions, mature for their age, very creative and intelligent. They can all be great personality traits but they do have a downside for the child that just feels 'more'. The author refers to them as a spirited child. For example, if Amelia-Rose is done wrong by another child and the other child won't say sorry she gets more upset about the injustice of not getting an apology then whatever was done to her. It's 'more' !
The other book is the prayer studying guide to the book 'The power of the praying parent'. Amelia-Rose is suffering with a bit of separation anxiety when she's dropped off to school at the minute and I'm doing everything I can to reassure her in a practical sense but it dawned on me that I haven't actually prayed about it. I thought if I did the work book it would discipline me enough to really think about the areas where Amelia-Rose might need prayer in her life at the moment.
The third and final up take is to try to do a bit of sewing everyday on my machine, or at least a couple of days a week for the simple fact that it makes me really happy! I bought some fabulous fabrics last year and I still haven't used it. I make Amelia-Rose skirts and with summer coming I would like to make some new ones. She has grown so much since last summer anything I made last year is going to look like a mini skirt!
I made myself an awesome camper van skirt last year and would like to make myself a few new skirts too. With the HMS induced trouble I am having with my digestion I have lost over stone since this time last year so will need a new summer wardrobe myself. I can't remember if I wrote about what's going on with my tummy at the minute? Around June last year certain foods started making me be sick but before Christmas I started being sick after most meals. There isn't an obvious pattern to it, I thought at first maybe I had developed a food intolerance but it didn't matter what I took out of my diet it didn't stop.
I did some research and it turns out that this kind of thing can happen to HMS sufferers. The consultant explained it to me that when you swallow (which is now very uncomfortable at best and very painful at worst) there comes a point when your muscles aren't strong enough anymore to keep pulling the food down so it comes back up. On very bad days just drinking water can feel like I have swallowed a whole apple and sometimes it feels like it has got stuck, that I hate. It's quite frightening. I have figured out 'safe foods' such as a bagel dipped in oat milk or tea and soy yoghurt. Cracker bread goes down and stays down too but things like potatoes, pasta and rice are really sporadic, sometimes they do sometimes they don't.
It's the reason I am juicing at home. It's the best way to get maximum nutrition into my body! Plus they taste amazing! My husband makes the best juices! We use the same ingredients but his always taste that bit better!
We are off to London again this week at the end of the week. We're going to take Amelia-Rose with us this time. I think it will do her a lot of good to see what actually happens on a day that we go to London. I wonder if in her head she is making it much bigger then it actually is which is maybe the reason she is getting upset going into school at the moment. I think we need to normalise it for her. Of course it will also help her to see the hospital before I go in for my operation in May.
Steve and I did an open air set at a event to celebrate International World Woman's day yesterday. It was absolutely brilliant! The sun was shining, the crowd were great and two of the musicians that played on the album and performed for us at the album launch spontaneously joined us! I will be posting some videos on YouTube this week sometime hopefully. If you want to hear some tracks off the album now though go check out https://soundcloud.com/songbird-unexpected. Singing and performing makes me soul shine. It made me feel so good yesterday!
Right, that's it! I am off to bed. It's been a wonderful weekend and a good night sleep tonight would just be the cherry on top!
Friday, 14 February 2014
A week on already...
I can hardly believe that this time last week (9.24pm as I write) we had just gone on stage for our album launch gig. This week has flown by in a blur and I'm convinced it is Tuesday or Wednesday!
I am thrilled to have Amelia-Rose home for the whole week (school break! Yahoo!) but I feel a tad under prepared!
I normally make sure I plan lots of things to do for school holidays but so far I have nothing up my sleeve! We were talking at bedtime about what she would like to do and so far we have that she'd like a write a 'proper book', make up a story and do the pictures etc. then she asked if we could laminate it and tie it up with ribbon so the pages don't fall out!
I adore how drawn Amelia-Rose is to English, she loves writing stories, poems and 'songs'. As a little girl I LOVED English as a subject. I've always been drawn to how one can express oneself through the written word. I think if you can develop a real pleasure from writing it can be like a key that unlocks a whole new part of life.
Before I had Amelia-Rose I had started to write children's books. I've still got them all on file and would love to do something with them one day. I should share them with Amelia-Rose this half term. If nothing else I know she'll be honest with me!
I was intending to write about the hospital appointments in London tonight but I am just too tired and have had an awful tummy ache since about 3pm this afternoon. It took me to my panic pain stations earlier where the pain gets so prominent I can't do anything to ease it even just a little. It's such a silly thing to say the pain can scare me sometimes but it does, if I can rationalise the reason for it I can manage even the worst pain but when I don't know why it is happening internally I get very on edge. This stomach pain does not feel like the pains and spasms I experience normally. I suppose that just makes me human... with a fear for the unknown!
Blessings x x
I am thrilled to have Amelia-Rose home for the whole week (school break! Yahoo!) but I feel a tad under prepared!
I normally make sure I plan lots of things to do for school holidays but so far I have nothing up my sleeve! We were talking at bedtime about what she would like to do and so far we have that she'd like a write a 'proper book', make up a story and do the pictures etc. then she asked if we could laminate it and tie it up with ribbon so the pages don't fall out!
I adore how drawn Amelia-Rose is to English, she loves writing stories, poems and 'songs'. As a little girl I LOVED English as a subject. I've always been drawn to how one can express oneself through the written word. I think if you can develop a real pleasure from writing it can be like a key that unlocks a whole new part of life.
Before I had Amelia-Rose I had started to write children's books. I've still got them all on file and would love to do something with them one day. I should share them with Amelia-Rose this half term. If nothing else I know she'll be honest with me!
I was intending to write about the hospital appointments in London tonight but I am just too tired and have had an awful tummy ache since about 3pm this afternoon. It took me to my panic pain stations earlier where the pain gets so prominent I can't do anything to ease it even just a little. It's such a silly thing to say the pain can scare me sometimes but it does, if I can rationalise the reason for it I can manage even the worst pain but when I don't know why it is happening internally I get very on edge. This stomach pain does not feel like the pains and spasms I experience normally. I suppose that just makes me human... with a fear for the unknown!
Blessings x x
Monday, 6 January 2014
Stepping into 2014 in style.
BOOM! Now if that isn't the best t-shirt you ever did see I challenge you to show me better!
2014 has descended upon us which means it is now less then 6 weeks until album launch time! Wow! Steve and I have put so much of ourselves into this album I hope people enjoy listening to it as much as we enjoyed making it. On a personal level it has been a bit of a sanity saver for me in the crazy that was 2013.
If you want to learn more about the music collaboration 'Songbird' I am in head on over to www.relaxx.co.uk or www.soundcloud.com/songbird-Unexpected. You can also like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/unexpectedsongbird or be our friend by searching Song Bird (two words!)
Ok, plug over! As much as I could go on and on about that particular project I shall save that for another day! This is a health/life blog after all!
Update time!
I managed to honour the promise to myself that I would not put myself under lots of pressure for the 'perfect' Christmas but instead have the best Christmas we could have with my health limitations and I honestly think I did it!
The 10 days leading up to Christmas were still earth shattering exhausting but that was because my poor husband had an accident and ended up with his arm in a sling for a week! Our daughter was still at school and buzzing about Christmas coming and oh man it was such a busy week. There were a few crying tired tears! The thing I learned though it that actually in a time of crisis I CAN cope. Physically I paid for it but that was inevitable, the fact is, I learned that I am not as useless in a time of extra physical demand as I thought I would be!
We had a wonderful Christmas and I really felt like we got it 'right'. Good feeling.
The colder weather has bought higher pain levels as it does, but I have taught myself a new word. Capacity. Now I hear you say "But Clo, surely you have known this word most of your life?" and of course I have but I have just recently realised 'Capacity' is a word I like.
It has removed the constant battle between my desire and my capability. For the past 22 months my pain has been the enemy, I have been locked in a battle to not let my pain 'win'. It was to be challenged and never 'allowed' to hold me back. Do you know where this attitude gets you? I'll tell you... no where fast!
The only place that gets you is crying on your bed because once again you lost the battle! (Yeah, so, I don't like admitting that to the world wide web but once again I will say this blog is all about what it is like to live with a chronic illness and, well, that's what it is like sometimes!)
I am now listening to my body more and more and taking her lead. I have not yet mastered this art but by using the word 'Capacity' I am able to rationalise my need for extra physical rest in a way I never have before. Go me!
I have an almost constant dialogue running in my mind. "Do you have the capacity for this? No? Then what about this? Have you got the capacity to do this? Yes?! Wonderful!" etc. I am also holding the consultants words very close to my heart... "Just be really kind to yourself".
I have learned if you live with a chronic illness and you are not kind to yourself not only do you suffer but so do all the people around you who love you and care for you. I am day by day learning to forgive myself and be kind to myself. I cannot offer anything to anyone else if I am laid up in bed!
These are all amazing positive steps and I hope this can truly be the beginning of living with my illness instead of against it! If this is the first time you have read the blog (where have you been?! ha!) and don't know what on earth I am talking about all is revealed here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-AeepZVuZQ
The not so good news is that my stomach has nose dived over the past 3ish weeks. Since June my husband and I have noticed that I am sick a lot more then your average joe but in the past 3 weeks I have been violently sick everyday and 'holding down' maybe one in every 10 meals? I am nibbling when I can and drinking lots of fluids but even that can be ridiculously painful at times!
At the moment the only thing I can do really is keep trying different foods and drinking home made juices. A wonderful friend of mine bought me over a soup maker yesterday (which felt like the kindest thing in the world) so I am keen to use that. You throw all your veg in with some stock, set it to the type of soup you want and leave it in the same way you would a stew in a slow cooker. Here's the best bit though! At a set time within the cooking process it blends it! How awesome is that!
Needless to say I am so hungry! I feel empty in a way I never have before and would be inclined to chew on anything if it stayed still next to me for too long (says the vegetarian) watch out cat!
I live in hope that a week or two with juices and soups will give my tummy a rest and hopefully the muscles will start doing their job again. Lazy beeps! ;-)
Although this new development is far from my idea of fun I have achieved two things;
1. Using my visualisation to help me raise above the frustrations of it all. In my mind I have spent a pretty good chunk of time stood next to a lake in Canada watching my pain float away in the past 3 weeks. How very Zen of me! Haha!
2. Not to panic. Even when the pain has been off the chart I have not reached my panicky pain since the 19th December which in the very least deserves a huge high five! It's not just a step forward it's a hop, skip and a jump forward! (Ironic concept there for a wheelchair user eh! LOL)
So I guess that brings us up to now! It's a funny sort of thing when we hit a celebration like NYE because everyone wishes each other 'health and happiness' at times that can feel a little like rubbing salt in a wound but even that I have managed to put into my own perspective.
Yes my disease is genetic and yes it will likely get worse with age but this is the first year that I have known what condition I am living with and I am keen to learn just exactly how to live with this. I will try everything and anything so that this becomes a part of my life and not my entire life. Chronic illness can consume you and lord knows that is nobodies 'fault' but I believe in my heart that my standard of living can and will improve in the months ahead. In 2014 I will be brave enough to embrace just about every alternative therapy under the sun because, well, for want of a better phrase I deserve it! I deserve health. Whatever my 'healthy' is. I deserve it.
It's our daughter's 5th birthday soon and we're having a party for her next weekend. Watch this space for the party blog!
Be blessed peeps!
Remember, tell the people you love you love them, tell the people you like how much they mean to you and concentrate your time on the people who make you feel good! Life is so precious.
Saturday, 30 November 2013
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Tomorrow Advent descends upon us and the Christmas rush begins.
I should let you know right off the bat I adore the Advent season, from the Christmas lights to the Christmas cheer I throw myself into Christmas 110% every year. I love it.
I am not big on spending spending spending, in fact for the last few years I have spent less and less money in favour of making wonderful Christmas hampers for our nearest and dearest. Everything in them I make myself (or with my daughter) and they are full of chocolate truffles, shortbreads, sweets, sausage rolls, cheese straws a Christmas pudding and some homemade decorations. They seem to get bigger every year but for me it is the perfect opportunity to really get stuck into being creative!
There is ALWAYS a manic rush around the 22nd/23rd to wrap the hampers and get all the edible things in pretty bags with sparkly bows and I swear I won't do it the following year but alas so it goes on! Despite my yearly grumble (at some point in the hamper making process) I do really enjoy doing them and think it is so much more personal then if I were to go out and spend said much money. We live in a society that hoards so much 'stuff' I would much rather make people edible treats!
This year though I am promising myself a different kind of December. "The Christmas Hush" I am not going to burn myself out in the run up to the big day and I am promising myself a bit of 'me time' everyday. Even if it is only 30 minutes I pledge to myself as a little quiet time to do something just for me because to let you in on a little secret I am my own worst enemy!
I really haven't got a handle on listening to my body and stopping when it says stop. In fact, sometimes when my body says stop my mind says "No don't you dare give in! Keep going!" Of course what that does is add to the pain the next day! I am learning though and this advent I have promised that I am going to use this month to get better at waiting!
Waiting whilst my body has a break and regroups, waiting for aches and pains to pass, waiting patiently for sleep to come instead of getting agitated that it hasn't arrived yet. I am going to try really hard to be kind to myself. It the reoccurring thing I keep hearing from people, "You have to be kinder to yourself"
It is so easy to get caught up in the corporate Christmas that demands so much of our attention and bank balance and as the shops get busier but people's patience gets shorter it results in December becoming one of the most stressful months of the year for most people.
This year I am saying no to fretting and trying to create the 'Perfect Christmas' and saying a very big YES to having the best Christmas we can have within all of our current limitations. After all, when you reach perfection really the only way is down.
So, from me to you. I wish you a very relaxed, calm, enjoyable Advent.
Blessings
x x
I should let you know right off the bat I adore the Advent season, from the Christmas lights to the Christmas cheer I throw myself into Christmas 110% every year. I love it.
I am not big on spending spending spending, in fact for the last few years I have spent less and less money in favour of making wonderful Christmas hampers for our nearest and dearest. Everything in them I make myself (or with my daughter) and they are full of chocolate truffles, shortbreads, sweets, sausage rolls, cheese straws a Christmas pudding and some homemade decorations. They seem to get bigger every year but for me it is the perfect opportunity to really get stuck into being creative!
There is ALWAYS a manic rush around the 22nd/23rd to wrap the hampers and get all the edible things in pretty bags with sparkly bows and I swear I won't do it the following year but alas so it goes on! Despite my yearly grumble (at some point in the hamper making process) I do really enjoy doing them and think it is so much more personal then if I were to go out and spend said much money. We live in a society that hoards so much 'stuff' I would much rather make people edible treats!
This year though I am promising myself a different kind of December. "The Christmas Hush" I am not going to burn myself out in the run up to the big day and I am promising myself a bit of 'me time' everyday. Even if it is only 30 minutes I pledge to myself as a little quiet time to do something just for me because to let you in on a little secret I am my own worst enemy!
I really haven't got a handle on listening to my body and stopping when it says stop. In fact, sometimes when my body says stop my mind says "No don't you dare give in! Keep going!" Of course what that does is add to the pain the next day! I am learning though and this advent I have promised that I am going to use this month to get better at waiting!
Waiting whilst my body has a break and regroups, waiting for aches and pains to pass, waiting patiently for sleep to come instead of getting agitated that it hasn't arrived yet. I am going to try really hard to be kind to myself. It the reoccurring thing I keep hearing from people, "You have to be kinder to yourself"
It is so easy to get caught up in the corporate Christmas that demands so much of our attention and bank balance and as the shops get busier but people's patience gets shorter it results in December becoming one of the most stressful months of the year for most people.
This year I am saying no to fretting and trying to create the 'Perfect Christmas' and saying a very big YES to having the best Christmas we can have within all of our current limitations. After all, when you reach perfection really the only way is down.
So, from me to you. I wish you a very relaxed, calm, enjoyable Advent.
Blessings
x x
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